Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
