so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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