cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
