i don't like sucking hair
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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