I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
