If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
