She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
