i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
