im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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