The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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