I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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