I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
