then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
