I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
