it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
wow bdsm is so cute
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
