Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
