Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
