Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
