Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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