I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
