i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
