he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
