Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
