i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
