Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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