she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
