i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
