he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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