You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
