So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
