i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
