I think i peed on brittanys purse
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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