I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
