New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
