Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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