We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
