Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
