Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
