this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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