you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
