He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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