you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
