never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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