how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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