and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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