she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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