I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
