Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
