Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize