I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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