i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We left the knife in your bed.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
