Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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