Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
