And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
