yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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