im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
