How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
