I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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