Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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