nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
