Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
